Photo by Michel Stockman on Unsplash
Most everyone enjoys a “feel good” story. They are hopeful and frequently point to the idea that there will be better days. Oftentimes, the characters have a difficult experience that leads them to doubt themselves before inevitably rising to the occasion after a word of encouragement or a rousing speech.
It is inspiring to readers or viewers when we witness the sudden turn in thoughts and actions that leads to victory. For many people, what we typically perceive to be happening is a character moving from negative to positive thoughts. We buy into the idea of positive thinking driving the change.
For example, in Star Wars, it could become easy to think that Luke’s growth as a Jedi comes from having a more positive outlook of his abilities or of the Alliance’s situation. That is far too simplistic. Positivity doesn’t drive lasting transformation. If you watch The Return of the Jedi, there isn’t much to feel good about for much of the movie. The reality is dire. Positivity is crushed at every turn. You see a group of people acting not out of positive thinking, but an acceptance that if they don’t act, the Empire will win and rule the galaxy. It’s a last ditch effort based not on feeling good about the outcome, but recognizing the ramifications if the rebels choose inaction.
The Christian life is the same way. Positive thinking isn’t the driving force of our faith. Understanding, believing, and acting on the gift of salvation amidst the trials of this world brings us life in Christ. That is incredibly different from just positive thought and action.
MYTHS OF POSITIVITY:
For advocates of endless positive thinking, there are a number of myths that drive their desperate pursuit of this philosophy.
1. Being positive is the same as having hope
There is a very real belief that acting and thinking positively is the same as having hope. The reality is that hope is far more meaningful than positivity. Biblical hope is grounded in a confident expectation that is informed by an all knowing and all powerful Creator God. According to the Apostle Peter, the hope we have is alive and rests in the redemptive work of God through Jesus (1 Peter 1:3-7).
Positive thinking on the other hand is a mere feeling. It relies on thinking the best can come of a situation. While it has proved to lead to a general sense of productivity, it doesn’t have the same depth as hope does because it is dependent on a fixed expression of your emotions. You can’t remain positive while acting or feeling sad.
When Luke Skywalker went to face his father, he was scared and felt angry. His only hope was in the power of the force flowing through him to overcome his obstacles. It is the same with believers. Our hope rests in God. Thinking and acting that everything is going to be ok is only a small part of our faith as we know how it all ends no matter what we suffer in life. But it is more than thinking positively.
2. If people act sad or angry, they are being negative and unproductive
This misconception is what drives a lot of people to positive thinking. Adherents of positivity are typically afraid and judgmental of sad or angry emotions. They don’t like how it feels, which is understandable, because it hurts. Feeling sad and angry can certainly lead to negativity and can be unproductive if left unchecked. However, the expression of those feelings don’t have to.
Sadness and anger are expressions of a current reality. They are a recognition of how things are and feel in the moment. Those feelings are valid and a part of the human experience according to Ephesians 4:26-27, “Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil.” Notice the verse permits anger while also instructing against sinning. The occurrence of the two simultaneously is not a given.
Paul is also pretty clear that there is such a thing as “godly grief” in 2 Corinthians 7. As he explains it, Paul is joyful that the Corinthians’ grief turned into repentance. This grief was productive, contrary to what positive thinking advocates would suggest. It is different from “worldly grief”, which Paul warns we need to be wary of. There is no guidance from this letter to just be more positive. The encouragement here is to not allow grief to control us, but to be led into the comfort of a loving God who loves seeing the renewal of our spirit.
3. Being positive is the same as experiencing godly joy
I believe that it is very easy for those who rely on positive thinking to begin to believe the lie that positivity is the same thing as joy. It isn’t.
Like I said before, positivity is acting on the assumption that everything is going to be fine, that if we just keep staying positive we’ll power through our pain and struggles. For many, positivity is like a sheet we drape over a raggedy old piece of furniture. We use it to make everything appear ok on the outside despite the torn fabric and hideous pattern being covered up.
Joy on the other hand is described by Peter in 1:6-7 of his first letter. He writes:
In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ.
Joy stems from our faith in God being tested and proved genuine. Joy is a result of when we understand the purpose of suffering, sadness, and anger. James exhorts us in his letter to “Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness” (James 1:2-3).
Joy isn’t about smiling through the pain, it is about accepting the struggle and understanding how God is at work through it all. Positivity is something you can fake. It can be a facade that you put on that doesn’t actually reflect what you feel in your heart. You can’t fake joy. Joy isn’t just a feeling, it is a belief and continual action.
4. Pushing positivity when someone is mourning is loving & helpful
Jesus debunked this myth when he wept for Lazarus (John 11). Jesus knew that He would raise Lazarus from the dead, and yet He was “deeply moved” when He saw Mary weeping. He knew that the proper response to sadness and grieving was to mourn with the hurting. Romans 12:15 reaffirms this truth saying, “Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.”
Just trying to get someone who is struggling (whether big or small) to think positively about their situation isn’t helpful and doesn’t show them love. Showing love to someone in pain is all about being there for them and comforting them with the comfort we have received from God. 2 Corinthians 1:3-6 describes a believer’s role in comfort as follows:
“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as we share abundantly in Christ's sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too. If we are afflicted, it is for your comfort and salvation; and if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which you experience when you patiently endure the same sufferings that we suffer.”
We are loving and helpful to fellow believers when we enter into their pain and walk through it with them. It doesn’t mean we can’t encourage them or remind them of the truth of God. However, we’re not supposed to steamroll them with forced positivity.
5. Being positive is the same as being thankful
Some people choose to act positive all the time because they are desperately afraid that it might appear they are not thankful for what God has given them. It’s easy to be overly self conscious of how others perceive you and so it becomes an act. We don’t want to be perceived as constant complainers (for good reason).
While we should definitely be careful not to turn into complainers, there is a difference between complaining and sharing the reality of what we are experiencing. It is possible to share your struggles while also being thankful for the blessings of God. Thankfulness, like joy, is deeper than a positive disposition.
In Acts 27, Paul sailed for Rome with many other prisoners but ended up in a violent, never ending storm. Though the situation was difficult and felt hopeless, Paul was comforted by an angel of God that everyone would survive. He publicly thanked God and then encouraged the men to eat so that they would have strength to swim to shore. In this story, Paul was able to be honest with the men that they would be shipwrecked. He gave them practical advice to eat so that they can make the swim. He didn’t sugarcoat it with positivity. His assurance lies with what God revealed to him and that made him thankful amidst the horrible storm.
The trials and troubles we’ll face in this life are very real. They can really challenge our faith. However, we can still be thankful for what God has done for us while being transparent about our current situation.
Jesus gave thanks multiple times during the Passover meal with His disciples, hours before His death. He is thankful for the opportunity to be obedient to the Father, even in suffering, knowing that His death and resurrection would result in salvation for all. Jesus doesn’t merely wear a veil of positivity. He is truly and deeply thankful. He knows the love of the Father, the One who asks Him to die.
WHAT THEN?
Hope and thankfulness, not positivity, should be our resting state of mind. While positive thinking can play a role in being more productive, in not allowing ourselves to wallow in misery, it isn’t the hook we hang our hat on. Positivity isn’t sustaining in the same way that hope and thankfulness are. We don’t point people toward positive thinking. We point people to the heartfelt thankfulness we breathe in and out due to the hope we have in Christ.
Comments